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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of housekeeping jokes and other funny jokes |
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Funny Kids Joke
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?To the prawn broker!What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?The Codfather!What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?He got lockjaw!Where do fish wash?In a river basin!What fish only swims at night?A starfish!How do fish go into business?The start on a small scale!Which fish go to heaven when they die?Angelfish!What is the best way to communicate with a fish?Drop it a line!Where do you weigh whales?At a whale weigh station!What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?A seahorse!
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Easy to Remember Joke
Read the 10 to-do instructions and then scroll for the answer - NO CHEATING!1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2. Form a loose grip. 3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 8. Don't stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet please. . . while others are preparing to go. 10. Don't take extra strokes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off!(From a sign posted at a local golf course restroom :)
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Horse Joke
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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Joke for Kids
A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help. A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, 'Hi there. . . what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?'The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water. A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. 'What are you doing?' asked the rancher again. As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he had the bread. Finally the Polak appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, 'Hey, why are you dragging that car door?''Well, ' said the Polak, 'I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I'll roll down the window. '
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Bumper Stickers - 1
My other car is a broom. (Found at a witches shop in NYC)
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Kids Joke
Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living. Little Mary says: 'My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail. 'Little Jack says: 'My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better. 'All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: 'Johnny, what does your Dad do ?'Johnny says: 'My Dad is dead. ''I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?''He turned blue and shat on the carpet. '
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Father Joke
A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers, when her first grade class came back from lunch.
Theresa informed the teacher, 'John has to go to the principal's office. '
'I wonder why,' the teacher mused.
'Because he's a following person,' Theresa r
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Lawyer Joke
You Might Be A Lawyer If. . . . You are charging someone for reading these jokes. The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long. You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill. Your other car is a BMW. When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer. When your wife says 'I love you, ' you cross-examine her.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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