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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of horse fun and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Why are hemorrhoids called 'hemorrhoids' instead of 'asteroids'?
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Joke for Halloween
What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?They both feature 3 million people saying 'Jesus Christ!'
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Business Joke
The social worker asked the bartender 'What's the difference between your job and mine?' The bartender replied: 'I only had to go to bartender school for 6 weeks and I learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours to have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to school for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session after session using technique after technique, and you still may never hear them!!!
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Medical Joke
The following statements were found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we're afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: 'The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. ' 'Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. ' 'The skin was moist and dry. ' 'The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. ' 'She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. ' 'The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. ' 'I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. ' 'The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. ' 'Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. ' 'Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. ' 'She is numb from her toes down. ' 'Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. ' 'While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead. ' 'When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. ' 'Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress. '
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Lawyer Joke
After his graduation from college, the son of a Spanish lawyer was considering his future. He went to his father and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner from which he could observe his father?s activities and be introduced to his father?s clients as a clerk. His observations would help him decide whether or not to become a lawyer. His father thought this was a great idea and immediately helped to set it up. The first client the next morning was a tenant farmer--a rough man with calloused hands who was dressed in workman?s clothing. He said, 'Mr. Lawyer, I work for the Gonzales farm on the east side of town. For many years I have tended their crops and animals, including some cows. I have raised the cows, fed them and looked after them. And I was always given the understanding and the belief that I was the owner of these cows. Now Mr. Gonzales has died and his son has inherited the farm. He believes that since the cows were raised on his land and ate his hay, the cows are his. In short, we are in dispute over who owns the cows. 'The lawyer said, 'Thank you. I have heard enough. I will take your case. Don't worry about the cows!'The next client to come in, a young and well-dressed young man, was obviously a landowner. He said, 'My name is Gonzales and I own a farm on the east side of town. We have a tenant farmer who has worked for my family for many years, tending crops and the animals, including some cows. I believe the cows belong to me because they were raised on my land and were fed my hay. But the tenant farmer believes they are his because he raised them and cared for them. In short, we are in dispute over who owns the cows. 'The lawyer said, 'Thank you. I have heard enough. I will take your case. Don't worry about the cows!'After the client left, the lawyer?s son could not help but express his concern. 'Father, I know very little about the law, but it seems we have a very serious problem concerning these cows. ''Don?t worry about the cows!' the lawyer said. 'The cows will be ours!'
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Science Joke
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?lick-a-lot-a-pusSent by rob
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Yo momma Joke
Yo Mamas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? A: Paddy O'Furniture!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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