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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of homemade funny gift basket ideas and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, 'Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?' The other replies, 'Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him. ' So that night he did and God replied, 'You are what you are. ' The next day he said to the other zebra, 'I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are. ' The second zebra responds, 'You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is. '
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Love and Marriage Joke
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich LittleJoint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar WildeLosing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Man and wife make one fool.
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Letter Joke
1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, 'Who owns the big white horse outside?' The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, 'I do. Why?' The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, 'I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!' The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, 'Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better. ' Tonto said, 'Sure Kemosabe', and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lon e Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, 'Who owns that big white horse outside?' The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, 'I do. What is wrong with him this time?' The cowboy says to him, 'Nothing much, I just wanted you to know. . . . . . . . . . . . you left your Injun running!!!'
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Festival Joke
1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed!2. Be thankful your computer isn't down!3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down!4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus!5. Be thankful your server isn't down!6. Be thankful for a vast selection of Web sites to browse!7. Be thankful no one knows who you really are!8. Be thankful someone sent you a cyber sundae, and you didn't gain a pound!9. Be thankful your 28 year old cyberfriend really isn't 72!10. Be thankful for a fast Internet connnection!11. Be thankful no one sent you a cyber voo-doo doll!
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Children Joke
A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest. . . the grass was very thickand long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approachedthe Father for payment and the priest paid him $1. 00. The boy said 'Thank you, virgin Father!'The priest replied, 'What did you say?'The boy repeated, 'Thank you, virgin Father!'The priest asked him, 'Do you know what that means?'The boy replied, 'Yes. . . . tight ass!'
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Mouse Joke
One lab mouse to another: I've trained that crazy human at last. How have you done that? I don't know how, but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell, he gives me a piece of cheese.
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Bird Joke
What's the definition of a Parapet? Pet parrot kept by parachutist!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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