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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of hollywood joke shop and other funny jokes |
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Spiked Humor
1. You stand in 'line-ups' at the movie, not lines. 2. You're not offended by the term, 'Homo Milk'3. You understand the phrase, 'Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine'4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars. 5. You drink pop, not soda. 6. You know what it means to be on pogey. 7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean 'Party at the camp, eh!!'8. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem. 9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen. 10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices. 11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike. 12. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars. 13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it. 14. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has!15. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. 16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway. 17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. 18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - that is some small town in Quebec!19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is. 20. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and 'taste like soap'. 22. You know that Mounties 'don't always look like that'23. You read rather than scanned this list.
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Baby Joke
Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.
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Women Joke
Element Name: WOMANSymbol: WOAtomic Weight: (don't even go there!)Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
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Dumb Men Joke
Q. Why is the book 'Women Who Love Too Much' a disappointment for many men? A. No phone numbers.
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Love and Marriage Joke
Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. 'But you just had two weeks off, ' said the boss. 'Why didn't you get married then ?' 'What and ruin my vacation ?' she whined.
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Pig Joke
What do you call a lady pig planting seeds? A sow sow.
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Gorilla Joke
What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla? Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you'd listen!
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Situations Humor
A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup getsto her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose abombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter:'Sir! Please stop that immediately. ''Certainly, madame, ' replies the waiter with a bow, 'which way was it headed?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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