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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of hindi adult joke and other funny jokes |
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Math Joke
There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor. When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
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Mad Joke
201. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ? A: A blond electrician202. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A1: So brunettes can remember them. A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit. 203. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde ???? A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!204. Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. 205. Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought. 206. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. 207. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. 208. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe. 209. Q: Why did they call the blond twinkie? A: She liked to be filled with cream. 210. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?211. Q: Why do blondes have periods? A: They deserve them212. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: 'Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?'213. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. 214. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. 215. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them. 216. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor? A: By the ears. 217. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. 218. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!219. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass? A: A brain tumor. 220. Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry? A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex!
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Bird Joke
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
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Judge Joke
The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, 'So how do you plead?' 'Not guilty' said the second defendant. 'I wasn't talking to you' the judge replied. 'I never said a word' the third defendant replied.
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Vampire Joke
What is Dracula's favorite pudding? Leeches and scream.
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Pig Joke
The teacher was furious with her son. 'Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig. ' The boy said nothing. 'Well! Do you know what a pig is?' 'Yes, Mom, ' said the boy. 'The offspring of a swine. '
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Doctor and nurse Joke
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. 'Where are you hurting?' asked the doctor. 'You have to help me, I hurt all over', said the woman. 'What do you mean, all over?' asked the doctor, 'be a little more specific. ' The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, 'Ow, that hurts. ' Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, 'Ouch! That hurts, too. ' Then she touched her right earlobe, 'Ow, even THAT hurts', she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, 'You have a broken finger. ' Dentist: $100. 00. Patient: $100. 00 for just a few minutes work? Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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Law Enforcement Joke
While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her. A policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him, 'What do you think you're doing?'After a moment the man replied, . . . 'Well, I've always wanted to strike a happy medium. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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