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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of hilarious wedding jokes and other funny jokes |
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Funniest Joke
The Top 16 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife16. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - Deuteronomy 2115. Find a prostitute and marry her. - Hosea (Hosea 1)14. Find a woman with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. . - Moses (Exodus 2)13. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4)12. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21)11. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. - Adam (Genesis 2)10. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. - Jacob (Genesis 29)9. Cut off 50 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. - David (1 Samuel somewhere)8. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative off course. ) - Cain (Genesis 4)7. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Atrahasis (Esther 1)6. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, 'I have seen a . . . woman; now get her for me. ' If your parents question your decision, simply say, 'Get her for me. She's the one for me. ' - Samson (Judges 14)5. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). - David (2 Samuel 9)4. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). - Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)3. Don't be so picky. Make for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11)2. A wife?. . . NOT!!! - Paul (I Corinthians 7)1. Become sinless, and die in atonement for others, and you can marry a whole bunch of people. - Jesus (Revelation 15?)
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History Joke
What do history teachers make when they want to get together ? Dates !
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Cannibal Joke
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alvin ! Alvin who ! Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? A: Roberto.
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Answer me this Joke
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
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Old Age Joke
One day two old ladies met up for a spot of lunch, one of the ladies said to the other
'Did you come on the bus'
The other lady replyed
'Yeah but I made it look like an asthma attack'
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Mad Joke
A Little Boy Comes Running Into The Room and Says, 'Grandpa! Grandpa! Can You Make A Sound Like A Frog?'The Grandpa says, 'I Don't Know, Why?'The Little Boy Says, 'Because Grandma Says As Soon As You Croak, We Can Go To Disneyland!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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