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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of harry hill jokes and other funny jokes |
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Ouch Joke
St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, 'You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo. 'Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo. Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, 'St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did no where near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?'St. Peter says, 'That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel. '
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs. 'Here we go again. '
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Silliest Joke
A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. 'Kiss me and I will turn into a princess. ' The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, 'Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours. ' The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back. The frog is really frustrated. 'I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask. 'The guy says, 'Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bjorn ! Bjorn who ? Bjorn with a silver spoon in his mouth !
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Various animal Joke
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, 'I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?' So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. 'I think, dear, ' said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, 'that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts. ' And a voice from the door said, 'If you do that I won't go. '
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Bible Joke
A Friend's PrayerMay the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person whoscrews up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen
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Gorilla Joke
Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter? They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!
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Dirty Joke
Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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