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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of harp laughs and other funny jokes |
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Spoof Joke
A doctor rushed out of his study room. 'Get me my bag!' he shouted. 'Why, what's the matter?' inquired his pretty young wife. 'Some fellow just phoned and said he can't live without me, ' he gasped as he reached for his hat. The young wife sighed. 'Just a moment, ' she said gently. 'I think that call was for me. '
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Bumper Stickers - 5
It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
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Religion Joke
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church. When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. 'Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?''Why reverend. ' the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts. ''Hmm. Well let me check, ' said the man of the cloth, placing his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. 'I don't hear any angels singing!''Of course not reverend. ' she said. Your not plugged in yet. '
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Blonde Joke - 1
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that got pregnant for the second time? A: She asked her husband if they needed to get married again.
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Practical Joke
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes whodied January '3
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At Work Joke
The owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina was appointed postmaster. Over six months went by and not one piece of mail left towm. Deeply concerned, postal authorities in Washington wrote the postmaster to inquire why. They received this short and simple explantion: 'The bag ain't full yet. '
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
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Heaven and hell Joke
There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel hears his plea and appears to him. 'Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you. ' The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed. Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, 'Hold on, you can't bring that in here!' But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, 'You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through. ' St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, 'You brought pavement?!!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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