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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of harmless april fools jokes and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
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Joke Online
An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, 'Well, it looks plastic. ' Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, 'But it feels like rubber. 'Curious, the attorney asked, 'What do you have there?'The drunk replied, 'I don't know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber. 'The attorney responded, 'Let me take a look. 'So the drunk handed it over and the lawyer rolled between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it. 'Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste, I sure don't know what it is. Where did you get it?'The drunk replied, 'Out of my nose!'
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Funniest Joke
A young boy asked is father, 'Dad, do lawyers ever tell the truth?' The father thought for a moment, 'Yes son, sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case!'
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Ouch Joke
Q: How did Captain Hook die?A: Jock itch.
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Best Joke Online
What is the difference between a terrorist and a PMS woman?You can negotiate with the terrorist.
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Ghost Joke
Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster.
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Horse Joke
Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses? In the Sir Lance Lot
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Gender Joke
A MAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A WOMAN IS REALLY SAYING: I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. . . . . without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?We haven't had a fight in a while. NO, PIZZA'S FINE. . . . . you cheap slob! I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. I just don't want you as a boyfriend now. I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?I can't believe you have nothing planned. COME HERE. My puppy does this, too. I LIKE YOU, BUT. . . I don't like you. YOU NEVER LISTEN. You never listen. I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE. I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will. OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF. I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch. OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!Well, near there; I just want to get this over with. I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS. We're gonna make fun of you and your friends.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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