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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of happy 50th birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bar Joke - 2
Jewish TraditionsDuring a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. . . The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation. The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, 'Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?'The old man answered, 'No, that is not the tradition. ' The one whose followers sat asked, 'Is the tradition to sit during Shema?'The old man answered, 'No, that is not the tradition. 'Then the rabbi said to the old man, 'The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand. . . 'The old man interrupted, exclaiming, 'THAT is our tradition!'
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Funny Kids Joke
What do you call a rich frog?A golf blooded reptile!
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Dirty Joke
A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the boy stood on the balcony and reported on everything that was happening. 'A police car has just called at the Hamiltons' house, the Chandlers are taking delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchell's are having sex. ' Hearing this, the boy's parents shot bolt upright. 'How do you know the Mitchells are having sex?' 'Because their kid is standing on the balcony too. '
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Foreigners Joke
Australia. Where men are real menAnd sheep are scared shitlessAnd where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different
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Ethnic Humor
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ' We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive' The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers 'God Save The Queen' and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers 'Viva La France' and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers 'Remember the Alamo' and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
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Dance Joke
Why don't dogs make good dancers ? Because they have two left feet !
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Easy to Remember Joke
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a highly agitated, arrogant little man who ran a small business that he had started from scratch. 'I need someone with an accounting degree, ' the man said. 'But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me. ''How's that?' the would be accountant asked. 'I worry about a lot of things, ' the man said. 'But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back. ''I see, ' the accountant said. 'And how much will my position pay?''I'll start you at eighty five thousand, ' responded the owner decisively. 'Eighty five thousand dollars!' the accountant exclaimed. 'How can such a small business afford a sum like that?''That, ' the owner said, 'is your first worry. Now get to bloodywork!'
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Friendship Joke
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nagat you, what have you done wrong? A: Made her chain too long.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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