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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of halloween jokes pictures and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?A: A stick!
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Love and Marriage Joke
young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, 'Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?' Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, 'Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?' The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, 'Darling, I've a c onfession to make. ' And she says, 'So have I, love. ' To which he replies, 'Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks. '
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Free Adult Joke
The Top 15 Surprises in the Re-Mastered 'Star Wars'15 New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself. 14 He might not sound as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing immensely. 13 Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Lea on the knee with a light saber. 12 Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi Wan to 'Use the Fifth, Luke. '11 The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut. 10 Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve. 9 C3PO has a conspicuous 'Intel Inside' sticker on his shiny brass ass. 8 Han, Luke, Obi-Wan and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees. 7 New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee. 6 Jabba the Butt-head saying, 'Hehe. . . hehe. . . she said, 'Lay ya. ''5 Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how 'Han Solo' got his name. 4 During one lonely night, Princess Lea finds R2D2's special attachment. 3 Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint. 2 The X-Wing pilot who blows up the Death Star?Richard Jewell. And the Number 1 Surprise in the Re-Mastered 'Star Wars'. . . 1 Dismembered victim of Obi-Wan Kenobi's light saber in bar scene none other than John Wayne Bobbitt.
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Food Joke
What's the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day.
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Rabbit Joke
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!
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Joke for Dummies
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, 'Guns don't kill people. I do. 'Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car. Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys. Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster. Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully. Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? A: Make eye contact and wave 'hello' if he/she is cute. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?A: The color. Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics. Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons. Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer? A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.
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Situations Humor
A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of theworld's tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cablesnaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground. The emergency brakes don't work, the emergency phonedoesn't work, and they both begin to panic. The woman screams 'We're going to die!', rips of all herclothes, throws herself on the floor and says to the man'make me feel like a woman again!' So, he pulls off his jacket, throws it on the floor, andsays 'pick that up, bitch. '
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Insect Joke
What do you call a grasshopper with no legs ? A grasshover !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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