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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of h2o fun and other funny jokes |
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Just for Laughs Joke
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. 'What the heck did you do that for!?!' the man screams. 'Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?' The man says, 'No I don't, you IDIOT. . . But my wife out in the car still does!'
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Joke for Halloween
Some things I've learned from my children:Super glue 'is' forever. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters 'do not like Jell-O!'A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of 20 by 20 foot room. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. And the glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop abaseball hit by a ceiling fan. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. It's been proven that plastic toys do not like ovens. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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Funny Famous Joke
In response to calls for sexual equity, Pillsbury recently added a newPillsbury Doughgirl character to the well known Doughboy. Unfortunately, she couldn't come to work this week because she had a yeast infection.
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Dance Joke
Q. What do tired line dancers do? A. They Line Down :-)
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Mom Joke
Q: What kind of cigarettes do Jewish Mothers smoke?
A: Gefiltered.
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College Humor
Why do so many women fake orgasm?Because so many men fake foreplay.
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Redneck Joke
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, 'Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and irresistible to women you are?''Why no, ' said the husband, flattered. 'Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?!' she yelled.
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Marriage Joke
A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said he'd quit -- seems they'd matched him up with his wife.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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