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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of graco fun rock giggles and other funny jokes |
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Children Joke
A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, 'And now what, my little man?' The boy replies, 'Now we run!'
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Military Joke
Paddy 'n' Mick join the army, and are put on street patrol in a city with a military curfew. They are given instructions to shoot anybody Who's on the streets after 6 o'clock. So one day, they're out at twenty to '6
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Best Joke
What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. How do you know when you're really ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life? When a nymphomaniac tells you, 'Lets just be friends. ' Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex, too. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'Are you sure it's mine?' What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $'1
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Practical Joke
Top Ten Signs You're Becoming a Teenager10) Like is, like, the most commonly used word in your vocabulary. 9) 'Metal Mouth' and 'Tinsel Teeth' have replaced your real name. 8) You fight with your hair every morning . . . and you lose!7) Your parents have never heard of your favorite rock group. 6) Even your zits have zits!5) It's not safe to say the word 'mall' around you. 4) Let's just say . . . sometimes you don't smell too good. 3) You've gone from 'A'. . . to 'B' . . . to 'C' . . . cup!2) If you have to speak in front of your class, you care more about what you're wearing than what you're going to say. 1) If someone at your house is PMSing, it's not always your mom!
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Dirty Joke
If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow.
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Bar Joke - 1
A guy walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender give a shot. ' He takes the shot then looks in his pocket. 'Bartender! Give another shot!' He takes the shot then looks in his pocket. ' He says 'Bartender give another shot. ' He takes the shot then looks in his pocket.
The bartender says, 'Why is it that after every shot do you look in your pocket?'
'I have a picture of his wife & when she look goods, I'll go home!'
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Blonde Joke - 2
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said 'You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!'To this, the other blonde replies 'I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her. '
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Zodiac Joke
Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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