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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of graco fun rock and other funny jokes |
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Totally Weird Joke
10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike. Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now. He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating ' Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man. 'Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room. Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again was his Mother, laying stark naked on the bed, Rubbing herself all over and repeating ' Oh, I need a man. Ohhh, I need a man. ' Once again he backs out quietly. Well, this time it took little Johnny a bit longer to muster up the nerve to demand his bike, but he finally does and rushes downstairs, No Momma, so he rushes upstairs, throws Momma's door open and there to his amazement was his Momma, lying stark naked on her bed, but this time she had a man on top of her. Johnny backs out of the room, walks quietly down the hall to his room and sits on his bed. He thinks about what he has just witnessed for a while and then, just like a bolt of lightning had struck, Johnny jumps up and screams ' I GOT IT !!!!!!'JOHNNY PEELS ALL OF HIS CLOTHES OFF, LIES STARK NAKED ON HIS BED AND STARTS TO RUB ALL OVER HIMSELF REPEATING ' OH, I NEED A BIKE, OOOOHHHHHHHH I NEED A BIKE'
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Naughty Joke
Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, 'Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?'Grandpa looks at him and says 'No Johnny, I will not. ''But Grandpa, why?' asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. 'Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to. '
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School Joke
Teacher: What is the formula for water ? George: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you ? George: Sure, you said H to O !
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Funny College Joke
What's the difference between an American student and an English student ? About 3000 miles !
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Christmas Joke - 2
Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.
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Horse Joke
Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? An exhorsist!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Love and Marriage Joke
Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company . . . Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth. Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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