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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of google video comedy and other funny jokes |
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Old Age Joke
A big ship suddenly falls in danger in mid sea and the water entered into the ship. Everybody was panicking.
A young couple have seen that one very old lady is also running but she has picked up her skirt over her head.
So they told the old lady “Granny, why did you lift up your skirt, please put it down. ”
The old lady told “Oh no no, my 85 years old body people can see no problem but my costly skirt I can not let it be destroyed.
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Funny Famous Joke
THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female: Any part under a car's hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes 'look bigger. ' Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2and1/2 min.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
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Old People Joke
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light. ' After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, am I driving?'
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Science Joke
What did one gay sperm say to the other? - I can't find my way through all this shit.
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Animal World
Why does an elephant have four feet?Because it would look silly with six inches.
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Sport Joke
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood. . . . good thing he didn't say two!Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!!They are making a new boxing term for Tyson. . . . instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. 'Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!'Can't beat um. . . Eat um!!!!If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite?In this corner Evander 'the Real Meal' Holyfield!!!!!!!Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!
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Parent Joke
What do young ghosts call their parents? Deady and Mummy.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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