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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of good speech jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bar Joke - 1
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says 'I want you to see this. ' She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, 'what do you have to say about this experiment?'He responds by saying: 'If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!'
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Dirty Joke
What do hookers do on their night off: type?
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Ouch Joke
OUCH! A couple hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused herto clamp down on the man's member and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
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Aviation Joke
A pilot and a co-pilot were descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield, and suddenly exclaimed to the co-pilot: 'Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I've never seen one that short!' The co-pilot looked out the windshield. 'Wow! you're right! That's incredible! Are you sure we can make it?' 'Well we better, we're almost out of fuel. ' So the captain got on the intercom, and notified the passengers to put their heads between their knees, and prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down, and slowed the plane to just over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot's hands were sweating, the co-pilot was praying. They touched down, and came screeching to a halt just before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. 'HEW! That was CLOSE!' yelled the captain. 'That runway was SHORT!' 'Yeah!' said the co-pilot, 'and WIDE too!'
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Mad Joke
A Polish student was in his the college campus bookstore. Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, 'This book will do half the job for you. ' 'Good, ' the Polack replied, 'I'll take two. '
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Apple Joke
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Life's a bitch, and then you die.
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Rastafarian Barbie . . . she has dreadlocks and ganja, mon!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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