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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of golf joke gifts and other funny jokes |
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Spiked Humor
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Found written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : ' DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE - XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS ' At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: 'Belt your family. It's the law. ' Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: 'Broken English spoken perfectly' At an Applebee's restaraunt: 'NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!' Fitness Center sign: 'Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself - regardless of the facts. ' In restaurant: 'Open seven days a week and weekends. ' On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: 'Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor. ' A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: 'A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS' A sign in front of a Macadamia Nut Factory in Hawaii: 'Caution: Nuts crossing road. '
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At Work Joke
There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women. This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can justgo to work.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben over and kiss me!!!
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Statistics and Math Joke
Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents=> $ 1/100 = 1 centTake square root both side=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent Multiply both side by 10=> $1 = 10 cent
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Joke of the Day
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, 'You skin this one while I go and get another!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !
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Dentist Joke
Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.
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Various animal Joke
A vampire bat came flapping in from a night of foraging, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the cave's roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. 'OK, follow me. ' He flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. 'Do you see that tree over there?' 'YES, YES, YES!!' the bats all screamed in a frenzy. 'Well I didn't!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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