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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of get low wit it and other funny jokes |
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Car and train Joke
One day there was a family driving in the car to Michigan to visit their relatives. They were looking for the street they had to turn on to get to their relatives house. They accedently turned on the wrong street so they had to pull in a driveway and turn around. When they pulled into the driveway the girl asked her mother 'Why dont these people have electricity?' Very confused the mother said, 'Wut are u talking about?' The girl quickly replied, 'Well, the sign back there said NO OUTLET!'
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Sport Joke
How do hens encourage their football teams? They egg them on!
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Dirty Joke
A guy is strolling along a sandy beach one day when he comes across a very old bottle. He's just dusting it off when two rather tired looking genies pop out 'Two genies!' he exclaims. 'That must mean six wishes!' 'Sorry, buddy, it's three or nuthin
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Waiter Joke
Customer: Waiter, I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork.
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Simple Joke
There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school. ----------------- Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk!----------------- Q: Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony? A: When they came over to this country, they had 'To NY' stamped on their foreheads. ----------------- A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and an American are walking down the street. A pollster stops them and asks, 'Excuse me, what is your opinion of the meat shortage?' The Saudi replies, 'Excuse me, what's a 'shortage'?' The Russian replies, 'Excuse me, what's meat?' The North Korean replies, 'Excuse me, what's an opinion?' Finally, the American replies, 'What's 'Excuse me?''----------------- Q: What do New Zealanders call a sheep in their back yard? A: A ride on lawn-mower. ----------------- Why the British are superior to Americans:1. They speak English. 2. When they host a world championship, they invite other countries. 3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on one knee. ----------------- One day, a Newfoundlander was rowing his boat back home after catching some fish singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'. Meanwhile, some aliens decided to test his intelligence. They took out 1/4 of his brain and still he sang, 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'. They took out another 1/4 of his brain, and still he sang 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'. They finally took all of his brains out. The Newfoundlander shook a bit, then started singing 'Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques. . . '----------------- HEAVEN Vs. HELL Heaven: An American salary. A British home. Chinese food. A Japanese wife. Hell: A Chinese salary. A Japanese home. British food. An American wife. ----------------- A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped down his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry native Indian stomped up to him and said, 'One more remark like that and I'll whip your butt!'----------------- Short summary of every Jewish Holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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Weird Women Joke
Q: Why do women have arms?A: Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
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Funny Kids Joke
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?He wanted to see the floor show!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If your stupid and you know it honk your horn.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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