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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of gene hunt one liners and other funny jokes |
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Internet Joke
I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on the internet. . . Yes - and it's a mammoth task!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I am not speeding I am qualifying.
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Short Joke
Why it's better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies . . . (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
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Dirty Joke
Did u know that a condom had a serial number? No, I never had to unroll one that far.
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Ghost Joke
Student l: 'Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?' Student 2: 'They are?' Student 1: 'Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!'
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Joke for Holidays
A blonde and a brunette were watching the news and they had someone on who was about to jump off a building. The brunette says 'I bet u he will jump. ' The blonde says 'ok'. Later on he jumps. When the brunette is leaving she says 'I can't take your money, I saw it happen already on the 5 o'clock news. ' The blonde says 'I did too but i didn't think he would jump again. '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Why can't Chinese Barbecue? A: Because the rice falls through the grill
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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