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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of garrison keillor jokes and other funny jokes |
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Totally Weird Joke
How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or an airline stewardess? A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right. A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit. And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.
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Situation Joke
Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. 'Please fill this immediately, ' she asked. 'I've got people waiting in my car!'
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Gorilla Joke
What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard? It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!
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Doctor and nurse Joke
What do you do? a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. 'I'm a nurse. ' 'I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me, ' he whispered in her ear. 'That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward. '
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Animal World
How do you make a cat drink?1 cat2 lemonsVodkaMix then serve
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Naughty Joke
For me, penises are a hobby . . . kinda like fishing . . . The small ones you throw back, The good-sized ones you take home for dinner, and The big ones you mount. '
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Old People Joke
Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said Edgar was doing 'fairly well' for his age. A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldn't resist asking the doctor, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?' The doctor asked, 'Well, do you smoke or drink beer?' 'Oh no, ' Edgar replied, 'I've never done either. ' Then the doctor asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued ribs?' Edgar said, 'No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!' 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?' the doctor asked. 'No, I don't, ' Edgar replied. Then the doctor asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or run around with women?' 'No, ' Edgar said, 'I don't do any of those things. ' The good doctor looked at Edgar and said, 'Then why the heck do you want to live to be 80?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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