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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of ganday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
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Situations Humor
A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?'Why of course!'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh. 'No problem, ' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and getup on the table. 'After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. 'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly. 'Oh yes it does, ' the artist says indignantly, 'and Ican prove it. ' With that, he runs out of the shopand grabs the first man off the street he can find;it happens to be the town drunk. 'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreadingher legs. 'Do you know who these men are?'The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutesand says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'
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School Joke
Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan? Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it, sir.
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Doctor Joke
While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. 'Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,' she complained.
The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. 'I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing,' he said. 'Why do you think it was taken here?'
'After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly. '
'I think' explained the surgeon gently, 'that means your cataract operation was a success. '
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Children Joke
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, 'I bet I know what it is - flowers!' 'That's right!' said the boy, 'but how did you know?' 'Just a wild guess, ' she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, 'I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!' 'That's right! But how did you know?' asked the girl. 'Just a lucky guess, ' said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. 'Is it wine?' she asked. 'No, ' the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. 'Is it champagne?' she asked. 'No, ' the boy replied. The teacher then said, 'I give up, what is it?' The boy replied, 'A puppy!'
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Birthday Joke
Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!
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Birthday Joke
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday. '
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Gorilla Joke
What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris? Ape Suzettes!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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