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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny xmas greetings and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle. A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew. They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew. They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief nods and simply says, 'Yes. . . seen plane crash'. When asked where the crew was, the Cheif replyed, 'We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!'The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, 'Did you eat their legs?'The chief replied, 'We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!'Another rescuer asked, 'Did you eat their arms?'The Chief said, 'We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!'Finally, another rescuer had to ask, 'Did you. . you know. . . eat their. . . things?'The cheif says, 'NO, you idoit!'. . . even cannibals know that. . . 'THINGS go better with Coke!'
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Money Joke
If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have? A dollar.
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Animal World
What do you get if you sleep under a cow?A PAT on the head. Sent by Jimmy
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Politics Humor
One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!' When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, 'I want a boat. 'The second boy said 'I want a truck. ' And the third boy said, 'I want three tombstones with arenames all on them. ' Bill Clinton said, 'why is that son?' The little boy said, 'because when my Dad finds out that wesaved you, he is going to kill us all!'
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Dirty Joke
Q: What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? A: S&M&M.
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Worlds Best Joke
There were once 3 blondes on an island, but they couldn't find a way off. But while searching, one of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. 'I will grant you each a wish, ' he said. 'Why not, ' thought the blondes. 'It's worth a try. ''I want to be the world's best swimmer' one said, 'so can swim off of the island'. She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away. 'I want to be a bird' one said, and flew away immediately. The 3rd, and last one thought for a while. 'I want to be a man. Maybe that would help. ' She was instantly transformed into a man, then walked across the bridge to the mainland, where she joined her two friends.
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Waiter Joke
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
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Free Adult Joke
Two guys decide to go on a hunting trip. When there friend hears about it, he begges to go. The two men are skeptical, because every time there friend goes, he scares away all the game. The friend promises that if he is allowed to go, he will stay at the camp site, because he likes to camp more than hunt. They agree and they start on their trip. Once camp is set up, the two men decide to go hunt, and their friend stays behind. After several hours they finally spot a ten point buck, but a shrill scream scares the buck away. The two men run back to camp, only to find their friend standing there looking up into the trees. 'What's wrong?' They asked. 'Yeah, you scared off our game. ''I'm sorry, fellas. I didn't screm when the snake fell out of the tree and wrapped aound my neck. I didn't yell when the bear came out of the woods and mauled me nearly to death. But those SQUIRELS. . . 'What had happened to the poor man was that two squirels had climbed up his pants leg. The first squirel asked the second, 'Do we eat them NOW, or do we take them HOME?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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