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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny xmas emails and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Speeches
Write down on a peice of paper:M R ducksM R notO S A RC M wangsL I BM R ducksNow have somebody say it, saying the capitals as letters, it comes out as:'em are ducks'em are notoh 'es 'ey aresee 'em wangs'ell ill be'em are ducks
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Joke for Halloween
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, 'Well, how was it?'The woman says, 'You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf. '
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Easy to Remember Joke
NEWS FLASH - GOD ANNOUNCES THE 11TH COMMANDMENT!During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be:'Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff. '
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia?Well God found plenty of guys who liked to deal with sheep, but he could'nt find three wise men or a virgin. Sent by Johnny
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Instrument Joke
1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 100. 2. The ideal system should have as many lights as possible, preferably blinking and flashing in time with the music. 3. The components should all have black metal finish, and generally look very cool. 4. The system should be broken up into as many components as possible. (e. g. pre-amp, pre-pre-amp, pre-menstrual-amp, post-amp, post-menopause-amp, etc. )5. The most important part of a stereo system is the speakers, they should look very cool. Size and number of sub-speakers and varieties of components pointed at the listener is important. (e. g. tweeters, hooters, sub-woofers, super-sub-woofers, seismic noise generators, etc. )6. The system should resemble the cockpit of an F16 or 757 aircraft; the more knobs and dials you can turn, the better. 7. The system should have full remote control capability, including over the mobile auto cellular phone so that the stereo can be playing as you get home. 8. Should have the capability of playing different music in every room of the house. 9. Components should have a cool names; this means no department store brands. 10. The complete set-up should put a major recording studio or large radio station to shame. After all, you may be trying to duplicate the exciting feeling of being at a heavy metal concert in a football stadium with '70
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Village Idiot Joke
The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $'10
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Hair and bald Joke
I want a hair cut please. Certainly, which one !
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Abbey ! Abbey who ? Abbey stung me on the nose !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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