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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny workplace quotes and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make animals out of meat?
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Religion Joke
Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, 'I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs. ' 'Odd, ' her companion replies, 'but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do. ' Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. 'Two dogs, please, ' says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs. ' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, 'What part did you get?'
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Joke for Speeches
Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. 'Mom, I want a bike for my birthday. ' Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a religious woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last year. 'Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday. ' Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter. Letter #1: 'Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Leroy' Leroy knew that wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year so he tore up the letter and started over. Letter #2: 'Dear God, I have been an 'OK' boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday. Leroy' Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So he wrote a third letter. Letter #3: God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you, Leroy' Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked as Leroy looked very sad. 'Just be home in time for dinner', Leroy's mother told him. Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Leroy went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write yet another letter to God. Letter #4: 'God, I've got your mama. If you want to see her again, send the bike! Signed, YOU KNOW WHO'
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Law and Lawyer Joke
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
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Ethnic Humor
A girl sat sobbing in the police station. 'I was raped by an Italian. 'She wailed. 'How do you know it was an Italian? The detective asked. 'I had to help him, ' the girl replied.
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Funny College Joke
Where are my shoes? asked the Iowa State professor as the class ended. 'They're on your feet, ' said one of the students. 'So they are, ' said the professor. 'It's a good thing you saw them, or I would have gone home without them!'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Honk If Anything Falls Off
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Frog Joke
What do toads drink ? Croaka-cola !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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