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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny workplace jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If your ship hasn't come in. . . Swim out to it!
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Easter Joke
Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck? Because he kept quacking all the eggs!
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Silliest Joke
There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it, but she knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for ranch hands. Two men applied for the job. . . One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He turned out to be a fantastic worker, worked long hard hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing really well. Then one day the rancher's wife said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job and we've both done nothing but work for weeks. The ranch looks great, and I'm taking Saturday night off and going into town to kick up my heels and paint the town red, and I think you should do the same. 'The hired hand agreed readily, and Saturday night each went to town. The rancher's wife had dinner and drinks with friends, and talked and joked and danced, and had a great time, getting home about midnight. The hired hand wasn't home yet, so she decided to wait up for him. One o'clock and no hired hand yet. Two o'clock and no hired hand and she began to worry. At two-thirty in came the hired hand. The rancher's wife was sitting by the fireplace and called him over by her. 'Now I'm the boss', she said, 'and you have to do what I tell you, right?''Well. . . yes', he answered. 'Then unbutton my blouse and take it off', she said. He did as she asked. 'Now take off my boots. ' He did. 'Now take off my socks. ' He did. 'Now take off my skirt. ' He did. 'Now take off my bra. ' Again he did as she asked. 'Now take off my panties. ' And again he did what she told him. Then she looked at him and said, 'Don't you ever wear my clothes to town again!'
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Ouch Joke
Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him. When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the other and says 'What kinda bird you reckon that was?'The other hunter replies 'I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it. 'How's that?''You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?
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Religion Joke
TWO NUNS AND A BLIND MANTwo nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. 'Who is it?', calls one of the nuns. 'Blind man, ' replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. 'Nice tits, ' says the man, 'where do you want these blinds?'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Sam.
Sam who?
Sam person who knocked on the door last time!
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Love and Marriage Joke
Two men were remembering their wedding days. 'It was dreadful, ' said Fred. 'I got the most terrible fright. ' 'What happened?' asked Harry. 'I married her, ' replied Fred.
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Restaurant Joke
Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don't tip, either.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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