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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny work awards and other funny jokes |
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Christmas Joke - 2
Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, 'You need to join the Army of the Lord!'Jack replied, 'I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor. 'Pastor questioned, 'How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?'He whispered back, 'I'm in the secret service. '
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Best Joke
There's a celery, a carrot, and a dick talking. The celery was like 'Man, I got it bad, they chop me up and put me in cold water!'Then the carrot was like 'You think you got it bad they chop me up and stick me in HOT water!'Then the dick said 'Ya, well I got it the worst. They put me in a plastic bag, stick me in a dark cave, and make me do push-ups until I puke!'
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Food and Drink Joke
Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice? Why? Do I look like one?
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Money Joke
What dog has money? A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).
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Pig Joke
What do you call a pig that took a plane? Swine flu!
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Kids Puns
Things to Remember During a War 1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire. 2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at. 4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat. 5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection. 6. Remember: your aircraft was made by the lowest bidder. 7. Never draw fire, it will irritate the rest of your formation. 8. Never share a cockpit with someone braver than you. 9. You are not Tom Cruise. 10. SAMs and AAA have the right-of-way. 11. If you aren't sure, the SAMs are pointed at you. 12. If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good idea. 13. Close only counts in horseshoes, nukes and proximity-fused missiles. 14. Smart bombs have bad days too. 15. The best defense is to stay out of range. 16. If you are short on everything but enemy, you are in combat.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes?
A: You don't lend the Merc out to your friend.
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Religious Joke
The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said 'Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now. ' More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their masks, sat in the front row and said, 'Okay, Reverend, you can preach now. All the hyprocrites are gone. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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