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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny womens t shirts and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Humor
An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious, by the silence, that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: 'I don't like Chinese. ' The First Officer replies: 'Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?' 'Your people bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese. ' 'Nooooo, noooo, Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese. ' 'Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese. . . it doesn't matter, you're all alike. ' Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally, the First Officer says: 'No like Jew. ' 'Why not? Why don't you like Jews?' 'Jews sink Titanic. ' 'The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg. ' 'Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg; no mattah . . . all da same. 'Sent by Renata
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Festival Joke
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'TBE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD 16. I resolve. . . I resolve to. . . I resolve to, uh. . . I resolve to, uh, get my, er. . . I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning. . . 4:30 is much more practical. 14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, 'LOL. . . LOL!' 13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. 12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. 11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate. 10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1. 44MB disk. 9. I resolve to work with neglected children. . . my own. 8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail. 7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it. 6. I will stop using, 'So, what's your URL?' as a pickup line. 5. No more downloads from alt. binaries. * 4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily. . . well, once a week. . . monthly, perhaps. . . 3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet. 2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items. 1. I will read the manual. . . just as soon as I can find it.
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Government Humor
When white man found this land, Indians were running it. There were:- No Taxes- No Debt- Plenty buffalo- Plenty beaver- Medicine man free- Women did all the work- Men hunted and fished all the time The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that system!
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Strange Humor
Q. What does a black boy get for Christmas? A. Your Bike.
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Bed Joke
Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Car and train Joke
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $'500
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Joke for Halloween
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 'Come with me
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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