|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny winter hats and other funny jokes |
|
Blonde Joke - 2
Q: What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are? A: Play ball.
= = = = = = = = = =
Mad Joke
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. 'Twelve dollars for the rat, sir, ' says the shop owner, 'and an extra thousand dollars more for the story behind it. ''You can keep the story, old man, ' he replies, 'but, I'll take the rat. 'The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. . . . following him. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can throw it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. 'Ah sir, you've come back for the rest of the story, ' says the owner. 'No, ' says the tourist, 'I was just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of a lawyer!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Bumper Stickers - 5
Its not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
= = = = = = = = = =
Idiot and fool Joke
What do you call a stupid skeleton? Bonehead.
= = = = = = = = = =
Love and Marriage Joke
She was two thirds married once. What do you mean ? Well, she turned up, the Minster turned up, but the groom didn't !
= = = = = = = = = =
Various animal Joke
What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ? A long necked toothbrush !
= = = = = = = = = =
Mad Joke
101. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant. 102. Q: How do blondes get pregnant? A: And you thought blondes were dumb. 103. Q: What will she ask you? A: 'Is it mine?'104. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde. 105. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. 106. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. 107. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is. 108. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? A: Because it kept falling out. 109. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ? A: Wishful Thinking. 110. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!111. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. 112. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!113. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A blonde parade. 114. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend. 115. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread. 116. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. A2: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke. 117. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and 'The Titanic'? A: They know how many men went down on 'The Titanic'. 118. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted. 119. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone? A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone. 120. Q: What's the difference between a blonde girl and a blond guy? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
= = = = = = = = = =
Worlds Best Joke
Jim and I have been married for two years now and we have not yet had our first husband-wife argument. If we have a difference of any kind, and I am right, Jim nods and accepts my opinion. But what if he's right? That has not happened yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
