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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wedding one liners and other funny jokes |
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Random Joke
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, 'Six shots? What's wrong?' 'I found out my older brother is gay, ' replied the man. The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. 'What now?' asked the bartender. 'I found out my younger brother is gay, ' replied the man. The night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. 'Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women?' asked the bartender. The man replied, 'Yeah, my wife does. '
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Romance Joke
On their wedding night the husband was so self - conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. 'That's thoughtful, darling, ' she cooed, 'but we'll need the light if you want to write thank-you notes . '
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Very Silly Joke
Have you ever smelled mothballs????I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open!!!!
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Computers Joke
Microsoft Addresses Justice Department AccusationsREDMOND, Wash. - Oct. '23
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Music Joke
Q: What's the range of an accordion? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
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Naughty Joke
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. 'Doctor, ' she replied shyly, 'I just can't undress in front of you. ''All right, ' said the physician, 'I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through. 'In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: 'Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?''Put them on the chair, on top of mine. '
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Free Adult Joke
A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer: May i see your licence? Lady: what does it look like? Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it. The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over. '
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Totally Weird Joke
A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called 'The Matador'. As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer. The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires. 'That is the ' replies the waiter. 'Spaghetti and Bull testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!' 'That's what I'll have!', says the businessman. 'I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day'. Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day. So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the '' to another customer who was there before him. 'Damn!' he says to himself. 'And tomorrow's my last day here. ' So the next day, he skips the bull fight, and stands in line at the cafe. He is the first one seated, and proudly proclaims, 'I'll have the !' 'Very well, senor!' responds the waiter. Soon afterwards, the waiter brings out his dish, but the meat balls are disappointingly small. Very small, as a matter of fact. 'What's with this!' the now angry man shouts. 'I'm very sorry, senor' said the waiter, 'but the bull does not always lose!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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