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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wedding messages and other funny jokes |
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Vampire Joke
Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes? They looked both ways before they crossed.
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Salesmen Joke
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, 'I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot. ' At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling 'The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!'
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Bumper Stickers - 7
This vehicle insured by Smith and Wesson.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Maybe Jesus Loves You, But Everyone Else Thinks You’re An Asshole
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Aviation Joke
I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in thirty minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, 'Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'Keith replied, 'No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?'Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!
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Bible Joke
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, 'You need to join the Army of the Lord!' My friend replied, 'I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor. ' Pastor questioned, 'How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?' He whispered back, 'I'm in the secret service.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation? A: A new bar
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Funny Kids Joke
What' s big and grey with horns?An elephant marching band!What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?An elephant disguised as a banana!What's big, grey and flies straight up?An elecopter!What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?A get wellephant!What's grey and never needs ironing?A drip dry elephant!What's big and grey and red?A sunburnt elephant!What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?'Pack your trunk and clear out!' How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?Take all the matches out first!What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?An elephant holding its breath!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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