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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wedding invitations and other funny jokes |
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College Humor
Why did the punk cross the road?Because he was stapled to the chickens back.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Last Lunch Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, 'Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself. ' The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, ' Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself. ' The third worker is polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, 'Oh, no, if I have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself. ' The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Then the Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Finally the polish worker looks in his lunch box, sees a polish sausage sandwich. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. At the funeral for the three workers the Italian workers wife is sobbing out of control and cries, ' Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed him a different lunch!' The Hispanics wife is also sobbing out of control and cries, ' Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed my husband a different lunch!' The polish workers wife isn't crying at all so the other two wives confront her. 'Don't look at me, ' she exclaims, 'He packs his own lunch!'
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Computer Joke
What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk.
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Sad Joke
Your mom is so fat, that I knew her all my life, and I still haven't seen all of her!
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Brother and sister Joke
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. 'Well, ' said the Scout. 'Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it. '
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Most people plan to serve God at 11:00 and die at 10:30!
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Ethnical Joke
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says 'Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now. ' The mexican man pleads with them, 'No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!' The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says 'Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence'. The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, 'The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence. ' The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, 'Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?'
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Best Joke
Due to the recent merger of AOL and Time Warner, AOL members can soon expect the following changes:Time Magazine's next 'Man Of The Year' issue will feature Steve Case on the cover as the undisputed winner. This of course will strictly be a coincidence. The standard irritating AOL popups will be replaced by Warner Bros. cartoons. Now, Elmer Fudd will say, 'You cwazy wabbit, you've been onwine for 5 minutes and that's way-y-y too long. . . we're going to boot you off!'The next time that you hear Bugs Bunny say, 'Eh, what's up Doc?' he will be referring to your monthly AOL subscription charge.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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