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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wedding invitation wording and other funny jokes |
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Vampire Joke
What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat.
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Waiter Joke
Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials? Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.
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School Joke for Kids
A husband and wife had been fighting for 3-4 days. The next morning they got up and were still not talking. The wife broke the silence by saying she had a dream last night. The husband asked her about what. She said she had a dream she was at an auction. They were auctioning off Penises. The little ones went for $500. 00 and the big ones went for $1000. 00. The husband throws out his chest and curiously asked what one like his went for. His wife told him bluntly that they were giving them away as door prizes!Her husband non-chalantly brushes this aside and tell his wife that ' I had a dream last night too. They were auctioning off Pussys. The loose ones went for $500. 00 and the tight ones went for $1000. 00. The wife, not quite thinking he would come back at her asked him how much one like hers sold for. Sell? The didn't sell yours. . . where in the hell do you think they held the auction!
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Aviation Joke
A man walks up to the counter at the airport. 'Can I help you?' asks the agent. 'I want a round trip ticket, ' says the man. 'Where to?' asks the agent. 'Right back to here. '
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Irish Joke
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: 'Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using. '
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Stand Up Joke
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A1: 'What's a lightbulb?'A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, 'Daaady!'
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Clones are people 2
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Accountant Joke
A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, 'I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live. ' The patient asked, 'Oh doctor, what should I do?' The doctor replied, 'Marry an accountant. ' 'Will that make me live longer?' asked the patient. 'No, ' said the doctor, 'but it will SEEM longer. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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