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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wedding day poems and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Smile. . . . . . . . . show off your teeth.
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Bed Joke
Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you.
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Doctor Joke
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, 'I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered. '
The second said, 'I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order. '
The third said, 'I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded. '
The fourth one said, 'I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their tails are interchangeable. '
The fifth surgeon says 'I like engineers . They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end. '
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Telephone Joke
If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get? Snippy answers.
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Irish Joke
'Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?' 'No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !'
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Beauty Joke
A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head. 'Hmmm, ' said the doctor. 'I've no idea what it is. ' The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. 'I'm stumped, ' said the doctor, 'but you can try taking these pills. ' When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. 'Ah!' said the doctor, 'I know what it is. You've got a beauty spot. '
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Dead and dying Joke
Vampire 1: 'I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died. ' Vampire 2: 'How awful!' Vampire 1: 'Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time. '
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Father Joke
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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