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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wallets and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap. They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him. Here's how the conversation went:Police Officer #1: 'What's your name?'Shutup: 'Shutup. 'Police Officer #2: 'Where's your manners?'Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!'
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Look before you open your eyes.
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Law Joke
Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?
Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. In June a replacement bus driver hired by Greyhound during the drivers' strike met the bus he was to drive from Delaware to New York City. However, a passenger on the bus wound up driving to New York because the substitute driver could not drive a stick shift.
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Book title Joke
Neck Exercises by G. Rarff
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Totally Weird Joke
A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go to ball games, and bring him a beer.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
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Funny College Joke
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds. 'Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. 'How long will this take?' she asks. 'They'll grow larger over a period of years, ' he replies. The wife stops. 'Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?'The husband shrugs. 'Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't it?'(He lived, and, with a great deal of therapy, he might walk again. )
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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