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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny wall plaques and other funny jokes |
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Insect Joke
What's the biggest moth in the world ? A mammoth !
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Best Joke Online
One day, a man complained to his friend, 'My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor. 'His friend said, 'Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10. 00. 'The guy figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noise andvarious lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in thisample and deposited the $10. 00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashedlights, and printed out the following analysis:Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant. . . . twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And. . . . if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better!
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Animal World
Q: What do you get when you breed a Bulldog and a Shitzu together?A: Bullshit
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
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Lawyer Joke
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?1. How much money do you have?2. Where can you get more?3. Do you have anything you can sell? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?A: Only three. The balance are documented case histories. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------There's an interesting new novel about two ex-convicts. One of them studies to become a lawyer, the other decides to go straight. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lawyers are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.
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War Joke
During an Army war game, a commanding officer'sjeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some menlounging around nearby and asked them to helphim get unstuck. 'Sorry sir, ' said one of the loafers, 'but we'vebeen classified dead and the umpire said we couldn'tcontribute in any way. ' The C. O. turned to his driver and said, 'Go drag acouple of those dead bodies over here and throw themunder the wheels to give us some traction. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
How do you change a blonde's mind? Blow in her ear.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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