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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny voicemail greetings and other funny jokes |
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Vampire Joke
Did you hear about the vampire who got married? He proposed to his girl-fiend.
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Idiot and fool Joke
What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it!
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Medical Joke
Doctor, the embarrassed man said, 'I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. 'Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do. 'The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. 'Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas, ' the medic said. 'Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on. 'The doctor took the husband aside. 'You're in perfect health, ' he said. 'Your wife didn't give me an erection either. '
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Fun Funny Joke
A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked. While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, 'Have you done oral sex lately?'The man replied, 'Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Have you found a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?'The dentist says, 'No, not quite. You've got some shit on the end of your nose!'
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Silliest Joke
It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape. (No pun intended) He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down. 'Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him. ' he says. . . . this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips. Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. 'Now, tell HIM you have a headache. '
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Medical Joke
'give me the bad news first. ''You've got AIDS. ''Oh, no! What could be worse than that?''You've also got Alzheimer's Disease. ''Oh. Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her. . . or something like that.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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