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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny voice ringtones and other funny jokes |
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Naughty Joke
I admitted to my friend that I hadn't had sex for a while. My friend reassured me that I won't forget it, cuz sex islike riding a bicycle. I know it's been a while, but I don't ever remember pedaling. . .
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Clean Joke
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you. 2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails. 3. You can jump-start your car without cables. 4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. 5. You can't remember your second cup. 6. You have a picture of your coffeemug on your coffee mug. 7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house. 8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. 9. You don't sweat -- you percolate. 10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
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Weather Joke
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
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Humor Joke
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, 'Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes mind if I ask how you got yours?' The other guy says, 'Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh, ' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'. . . . so she socked me a good one. ' The first guy replied, 'Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey. ' But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch. '
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: 'Houston here, Pig '1
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Restaurant Joke
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, 'Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!' The panda yells back at the manager, 'Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!' The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: 'A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves. '
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King Kong Joke
Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food.
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Doctor Joke
Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'OOPS!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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