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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny voice messages and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 7
This car is constipated: hasn't passed a thing all day!
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Adeline ! Adeline who ? Adeline extra to the letter !
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Humor Joke
A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
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Clean Humor
Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes. . . Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?Maria<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Maria
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Horse Joke
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ? A seahorse !
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Funny College Joke
Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls? 'Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around. '
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Funny College Joke
25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson 24. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION 23. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres 22. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND DILBERT 21. HUMAN RIGHTS ADVANCES IN CHINA 20. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman 19. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore 18. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN 17. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS 16. CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS 15. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE 14. DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB 13. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES 12. EASY UNIX 11. ETHIOPIAN TIPS ON WORLD DOMINANCE AND AGRICULTURE 10. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN 9. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN 8. FRENCH HOSPITALITY 7. GEORGE FOREMAN'S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES 6. HOW TO SUSTAIN A MUSICAL CAREER - by Art Garfunkel 5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE 4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA 3. STAPLE YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS 2. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORYAnd the Number one World's Shortest book. . . . . . 1. HOW TO OVERCOME TEMPTATION - by Bill Clinton
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Animal World
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is apoodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane. The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks 'why are you here?'The schnauzer responds, 'I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sickso he brought me here to be put to sleep. 'The schnauzer asks the poodle 'why are you here?'The poodle responds, 'I've not been myself lately. I've been especially highstrung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and Ieven bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has beenhappening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he broughtme here to be put to sleep. 'The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here. The great Dane responds: 'My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterdayshe was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pickup something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took overand the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. Icouldn't help myself. 'The poodle asks: 'so she brought you here to put to sleep?''Oh, no. . . . , I'm just here to get my nails trimmed. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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