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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny valentines limericks and other funny jokes |
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Joke Online
A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mum, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. 'I thought I told you to call your mom' she says. 'I did' he says. 'She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school. '
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School Joke
Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card. 'What is this 45 in math?' asked her father. 'I think That's the size of the class, ' she said quickly!
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Dog Joke - 2
Q: What goes 'krab, krab, krab'? - A: A dog barking in a mirror.
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Internet Joke
What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.
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Beauty Joke
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear. 'Johnny, how many times have I told you, ' said his mother, ' it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud. ' 'OK, said Johnny, 'why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch ?'
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Joke for Holidays
Patient: My tongue tingles when I touch it to a cracked walnut wrapped in aluminum foil, what's wrong with me? Doctor: You have far too much free time!
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Romance Joke
There was this boy in high school that was what you wouldconsider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basementof his home and one night he came up and said 'Dad lookwhat I made. ' So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot ofsoil and instantly grass started to grow. Of course his dad was really impressed with this and askedhis son if he can make something to make his penis grow. His son thought for a minute and said that if he did thendad would have to buy him a convertable. Dad agreed. The next night the son came out of the basement and gave hisdad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and toldhim that he had something to show him. They went to the frontyard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari. The son looked at his dad and said 'I only asked for a convertable. 'The dad replied 'the convertable is in the garage. The Ferrari isfrom your mother. '
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Satire Joke
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Two. . . but I don't know how they'd get in there!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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