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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny valentines day verses and other funny jokes |
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Priceless Joke
An old man died and left his talking parrot to his nephew. Unfortunately, the old man's language was not the cleanest, and it would seem that the parrot picked up on this. The nephew did not like this, and tried to break the parrot of its swearing habit. He tried everything. He played religious music, he was kind to the bird, he spent long hours trying to teach it manners. Finally, one day, he became so frustrated, he threw the parrot into the freezer. 'There, ' he said. 'Maybe he'll cool off in there. 'For the first few seconds, the parrot swore a blue streak inside that freezer. Then, suddenly, the parrot fell silent. A few moments later, the nephew heard from within the freezer, 'If you would be so kind as to let me out, I promise to rectify my unsavory vocabulary. 'Shocked and surprised, the nephew quickly opened the door and removed the chilly but sedate bird. Before he could say anything, however, the parrot spoke. 'If you don't mind, may I ask what the chicken did?'
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Funny College Joke
Husband: Honey, if I died, would you get remarried? Wife: Well, I suppose so. Husband: Would you and he sleep in the same bed? Wife: I guess we would. Husband: Would you make love to him? Wife: He would be my husband then, dear. Husband: Would you give him my golf clubs? Wife: No. . . He's left handed.
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Elephant Joke
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ? Nothing, it just let out a little wine !
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I drank what?
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Bird Joke
What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !
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Journalist Joke
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, 'Tomorrow rain. ' The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, 'Tomorrow storm. ' The next day there was a hailstorm. 'This Indian is incredible, ' said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. 'I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow, ' said the director, 'and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?' The Indian shrugged his shoulders. 'Don't know, ' he said. 'Radio is broken. '
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Bicycle Joke
Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more. Why not? He lost his balance.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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