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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny valentines day gifts and other funny jokes |
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Bird Joke
What do you give a sick bird ? Tweetment !
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Joke for Speeches
An old lady was knitting as she was driving down the highway. A police officer drove alongside her car and yelled, 'Pull over!'The lady yelled back, 'No - mittens!'
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American Joke
Q: Why does it take 3 Americans to change a lightbulb?
A: One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough lightbulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
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Easter Joke
Why was the monster sitting in his Easter basket? He was trying to hatch his peanut butter eggs!
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School Joke for Kids
A man walks into the bathroom, and steps up to a urinal. He can't help but notice the short man at the urinal next to him, and the large penis this man has. He says to the short man, 'Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice what a large penis you have. ' The short man replies, 'I am a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes. 'The man is kind of skeptical, but he decides to believe him anyway. 'OK, 'He says, 'I want to live in a mansion. ' The short man replies, 'Sure. Tomorrow morning you will wake up in it. 'The man says, 'Next, I want a beautiful girlfriend. ' 'OK, 'the short man replies, 'Tomorrow you will wake up next to her. ' The man is still not sure whether to believe him, but he continues. 'I want a penis as large as yours. ' 'Alright, but there is one catch, the short man replies. 'What's that, the man asks?' 'I have to have sex with you from behind, the short man says. The other man thinks for a second, and decides anything is worth getting a penis that large. 'OK, go right ahead. ' The short man starts to do his thing, and the other man says, 'I can't believe I'm gonna have a penis as big as yours. 'The short man replies, 'I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun!'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
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American Joke
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, 'if my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull'.
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, 'if my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant. '
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, 'What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'
The kid smiles and says, I would be a bus driver. .
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Bumper Stickers - 3
EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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