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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny valentines day and other funny jokes |
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Relationships Joke
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in themirror. He asks, 'What are you doing?'She replies, 'I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breastsof a 25 year old. 'The husband retorts, 'Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?'She replies, 'Frankly dear, your name never came up. '
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Relationships Joke
A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says, 'Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!''Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile. '
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Friendship Joke
Mrs. Grednik, who was a little on the chubby side, was at her weight-watchers meeting . 'My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure. ' she lamented to the woman next to her. 'Well, ' the lady replied, 'what's wrong with that?''He likes to do it while I'm stuck at these damn meetings. '
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Practical Joke
The pro football team had just finished theirdaily practice session when a large turkey camestrutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkeywalked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caughtpass after pass and ran right through the defensiveline. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, thecoach shouted, 'You're terrific!!! Sign up forthe season, and I'll see to it that you get ahuge bonus. ''Forget the bonus, ' the turkey said, 'All I wantto know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
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Short Stupid Joke
Unusual Case by William A. Morton, Jr, MDFrom 'Medical Aspects Of Human Sexuality' July, 1991 p. 15Scrotum Self-RepairOne morning, I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he 'needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles. ' The patient, about '40
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Mad Joke
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means 'Stop, wrong hole. 'Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make good ankle warmers. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show!Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: 'I'm *sooo* drunk!'Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) 'I said: I'm drunk!'Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A: 'All the blondes have gone home!'Q: What's a brunette's mating call ? A: Has that blonde gone yet?Q: What's the mating call of the redhead? A: 'Next!'Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada) A: Because they can spell it. Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus G. S. T. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes go in first. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits go in front. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: 'Have another beer. '
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Cow Joke
Pa's being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me some film for my camera!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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