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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny tunes and other funny jokes |
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Frog Joke
Where do you get frogs eggs ? At the spawn shop !
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hunchback Barbie . . . pull the string and she cries, 'Sanctuary! Sanctuary!'
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Instrument Joke
There's a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up?The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway.
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Strange Humor
Three surgeons at a conference were discussing their greatest operations during one of the breaks. First surgeon: 'I once had an ambulance crew bring in a man's leg and my team and I built a new body around it and now that he's recovered fully he does the work of five guys. 'Second surgeon: 'That's really good. My greatest test was a few skin fragments sent to us by the local nuclear plant after a major accident. My team and I work for three days and built an entire new person around those few bits and sent him back to work six months later. He's so good that he now runs the entire plant by himself!'Third surgeon: 'Not bad, my friend. I was walking along outside the White House when Clinton went jogging by and farted. I captured that fart in a plastic bag and went to the hospital. My team and I built another ass hole around that fart, added a brain and he's so good he's putting this entire country out of work!'
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Dumb Joke
Why are complaints of married people like the noise of the waves on the shore?Because they are murmurs of the tied.
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Aviation Joke
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. 'So, ' says the little guy, 'are you feeling better now?'
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Humorous Joke
Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have any children? A: When his wife got hot, he beat her with a shovel. Q: Why don't they let government workers look out the window in the morning? A: So they will have something to do in the afternoon. A girl criticized my apartment so I knocked her flat. The first civilian on the shuttle was an English teacher. Now she's history.
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Fun Funny Joke
One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas, and empty food boxes were on the kitchen counter. When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone. He looked at her, bewildered, and asked, 'What happened here today?'She again smiled and answered, 'You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today. ''Yes' was his reply. She answered, 'Well, today, I didn't do it!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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