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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny trophies and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 2
What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick?
A docs-hund!
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Short Stupid Joke
My wife gave me a lesson the other night on User Interface Problems, that really points up some of the differences between the sexes. We were watching CNN's Technology program they have on weekends, when a segment on Virtual Reality came on. Looking at the all the wires and gadgets, she turned to me and said that Virtual Reality would never catch on with women. I was puzzled by this, until she explained, 'Every woman's first thought on seeing that helmet will be, 'I can't wear that. It will mess up my hair!''
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Ethnic Humor
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar. The bartender turned around and said, 'Is this some kind of a joke?'
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I Have The Body Of A God. . . . . . Buddha.
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Police Joke
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' The first blonde answers, 'That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!' The policeman says, 'Well. . . uh. . . That's because the picture shows his PROFILE. ' Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, 'Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!' The policeman angrily responds, 'What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best ans wer you can come up with?' Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' He quickly adds '. . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer. ' The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, 'Hmmmm. . . the suspect wears contact lenses. ' The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. 'Well, That's an interesting answer. . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that. ' He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. 'Wow! I can't believe it. . . it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?' 'That's e asy, ' the blonde replied. 'He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear. '
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Cow Joke
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
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Book title Joke
The Insomniac by Eliza Wake
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Father Joke
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $8
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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