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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny trampoline accidents and other funny jokes |
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Internet Joke
Did you know pillows have their own website? Really? Well you could knock me down with a feather!
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Friendship Joke
Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, 'My wife isn't as much fun as she used to be. 'The marriage counselor says, 'Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?'Magnussen says, 'As much as the next fellow. 'The counselor says, 'Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's exhausted. '
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Joke Online
Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support waiter. Waiter. What seems to be the problem?Patron: There's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?Patron: A SOUP bowl!Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now![waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. Patron: This is potato soup. Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. [waiter leaves. ]Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!The check:Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5. 00Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2. 50Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1. 00
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. 'Now don't let me ever see your face again, ' said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. 'I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir, ' said the released man. 'And why not?' 'Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!'
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Ghost Joke
What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.
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Various animal Joke
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
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Totally Weird Joke
Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, 'Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?' The man said 'No. 'Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, 'This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!'The man replied, 'Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967. ''That's really sad, ' said Bob, 'but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?''No, ' the man replied, 'they're all at the funeral!'
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Computer Joke
How do you know if you are a geek? Your computer cost $6,000 and your car cost $500. 00
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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