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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny texts to send and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Men Joke
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him.
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Silliest Joke
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. 'Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $'500
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Celebrities Joke
What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
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Funniest Joke
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. . . 'When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?The wife put down her drink and said. . . 'Nah. . . let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down!'
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Funny Kids Joke
Which fish can perform operations?A Sturgeon!Where do little fishes go every morning?To plaice school!What fish goes up the river at 100mph?A motor pike!How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?He prawned everything!1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you' 2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured' What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?Skate!What do you call a fish with no eyes?Fsh!What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?A hermit crab!What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?As far away as possible!Why did the whale cross the road?To get to the other tide!
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Say say NO thank you.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Why were there only 49 contestants at the Miss Ebonics USA pageant? A: No one wanted to stand up and say. . . Idaho. . .
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Mad Joke
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?A: Butter is difficult to spread.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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