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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny text tones and other funny jokes |
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Music Joke
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
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Romance Joke
A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. 'OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me' and he stepps into the closet. At that time the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman. Husband: 'What the hell are you doing here!'Repairman:'Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!'Sent by Ser
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Totally Strange Humor
(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)SUBJ: Clinton's Address to the NationText from Clinton's Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum. 10. 16 P. m. ET (0216 GMT) August '17
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Miscellaneous Joke
A short history of medicine: I have an earache. 2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root 1000 A. D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
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Bumper Stickers - 2
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
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Joke for Halloween
There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing. His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he did it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threw it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish floated to the top. The game warden said, 'That's illegal, you can't do that. 'The fisherman goes, 'Really?' He then lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water. The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to the top. The game warden said, 'Stop that now, and take this boat back to shore. . . I'm going to have to give you a citation and confiscate all your gear. ' The fisherman said, 'Oh, really?' He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it into the game warden's lap, and said 'You gonna sit there and keep flapping your trap, or are you gonna fish?'
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Birthday Joke
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, 'I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. ' Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, 'Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?' He replies, 'You didn't use what I got you last year!'
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American Joke
Two Teenage boys were picked up for doing drugs. When they went to court the judge said that he would like to give them a second chance if they could work in the community and convince young people not to do drugs they would avoid jail time.
The two boys went to the community and did their work and returned to court the following month. The judge asked the first boy how he did and he told the judge that he convinced 30 people not to do drugs.
The judge said, 'That was great how did you do that?'
The Boy told him, 'I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs. '
'That's admirable,' said the judge. 'And you, how did you do?' (to the 2nd boy)
'Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever. '
'156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!'
'Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison. ''
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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