|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of funny text sounds and other funny jokes |
|
Bar Joke - 2
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, 'Ooh dad, there's one. ' 'No, ' said the father. 'There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait. ' Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, 'Hey dad, he's plenty big enough. ' 'No, ' the father said. 'We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait. ' About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, 'Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her. ' 'No, ' said the father. 'We'll not eat her either. ' 'Why not?' asked the son. 'Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Love and Marriage Joke
When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep. 'She took the bed!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Love and Marriage Joke
A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. 'HA!' he snorted. 'The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!' On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area forward, 'There! I have hair on my chest, now buy me the damn coat!' 'That's not your chest!' he roars back. 'Damn right it's my chest!' she argued. 'Before we got married, this was your hope chest. On our honeymoon it was your treasure chest. Afterwards it became our family chest. . . . AND IF YOU DON'T BUY ME A FUR COAT. . . IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Joke for Kids
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for herthoughts?A: Change.
= = = = = = = = = =
Blonde Joke - 2
Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon? A: A vacant posession.
= = = = = = = = = =
Rabbit Joke
What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
= = = = = = = = = =
Business Joke
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. 'I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family, ' said the man. 'To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations. ' The son-in-law interrupted, 'I hate factories. I can't stand the noise. ' 'I see, ' replied the father-in-law. 'Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations. ' 'I hate office work, ' said the son-on-law. 'I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day. ' 'Wait a minute, ' said the father-in-law. 'I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?' 'Easy, ' said the young man. 'Buy me out. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Family Comedy Joke
On a cardboard windshield sun shade: 'Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place'(why. . . a duh!)On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. (ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test. (oh sure. . . now they tell me!)On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. (aye matey. . . but the sharks love 'em!)On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker. On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. (well that's just great. . . now what do I use!)On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2- shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4. 97. (now you know WHY there was a Y2K bug!)On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms. On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. (he-he. . . I gotta try this one!)On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting. On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only. On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. (hmmm. . . I think I'll test this one out on my nephews :)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
