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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny text messages to send and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk
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Instrument Joke
A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead. The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist. She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, 'I just like to hear you say it. '
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. No, two. No. . . How many do we have on the truck?
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible ishappening and I have to talk to you about it. 'The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?'The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me. 'The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?'The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she'spoisoning me, what should I do?'The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know. 'A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, 'Well, I spoketo your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. Youwant my advice?'The man anxiously says, 'Yes. ''Take the poison, ' says the Rabbi
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Science Joke
New scientific theoriesGRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on itsfeet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the butteredside facing down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to theback of a cat. When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above theground, probably into eternity. A 'buttered-cat array' could replacepneumatic tires on cars and trucks, and 'giant buttered-cat arrays'could easily allow a high-speed monorail linking New York with Chicago.
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
What did Sindbad eat when he was washed up on a desert island?
He ate all the sand which is there. (Sandwiches!)
Why did Sindbad carry a compass?
So that he knew if he was coming or going!
Why didn't the Captain get his hair wet?
He was bald!
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Computer Joke
A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.
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Math Joke
A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician.
'How old, do you think, am I?' she asks coyly.
'Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself. . . '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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