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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny text message tones and other funny jokes |
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School Joke
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt and it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class become more and more unmanageable. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
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Best Joke Online
'Filthy Stinking Rich. . . Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad''I Used Up All My Sick Days. . . So I Called In Dead''Husband and Cat Lost. . . Reward for Cat''Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton''Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt''Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes. . . Use Birth Control''If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees''If You Can Read This. . . Kiss A Teecher''Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up''If You Remember the '60s, You Weren't Really There''Procrastinate Now''Rehab Is for Quitters'(Across a drawing of a skeleton) 'Waiting for the Perfect Man''My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse. . . . . . . He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse''The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Chad ! Chad who? Chad to make your acquaintance !
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Dog Joke - 1
What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives? A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!
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Marriage Joke
A groom buys the engagement ring at a jewelry store. As the groom enters the room, we 'have been talking about' the news that says the jewelry store he just went to is being investigated for selling plastic diamonds to unknowledgeable customers. This didn't work too well but maybe if you have better actors in your group it would.
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Various animal Joke
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !
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Baby Joke
Do you like your new baby sister? She's all right. Do you play with her? No, and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 28 days.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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